


Life...

by FrankIeroWay666



Category: Black Veil Brides, My Chemical Romance, Warped Tour - Fandom
Genre: BVB, Bands, Slight mention of Self Harm, Warped Tour, my chemical romance - Freeform, warpaint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9861047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankIeroWay666/pseuds/FrankIeroWay666
Summary: Just how i want my life...





	

As I stare into the mirror, a sudden anger washes over me and I throw the mirror against the wall. As I sink onto my bed, head in my hands, my mother comes in.  
“Are you ok?” She asks looking at my wall, where the mirror was smashed. She picks up one of the shards of glass. “Do you wanna tell me why you did this?” I shake my head slowly.  
“No, not really.”  
I get up and take the shard from her hand and lay it on my bedside table for later. I close my eyes and feel the bed give as my mom sits next to me. She lays a hand on my arm.  
“Look at me.” I look up through my hair.  
“Yes?” I ask.  
“Do you wanna talk?” She puts her thumb under my chin and lifts my head so I’m looking straight into her eyes. I move my head so it’s resting on her shoulder.  
“I’m not sure I want to yet. Sorry.” I lift my head and curl my arms around my legs, and rest my head on my knees. “Ok. Later, maybe?” She gets up, her hand still on my arm.  
“Yea, ok.” She leaves my room. I pick up the shard of glass and rub the smooth part between my fingers. I take the sharp part and press a little against my arm. NO!! Stop! Take the glass AWAY from your arm!!! My thoughts yell at me. I try to block them out while putting more pressure on the glass. It pricks my skin, and a little bit of blood drips off my arm. PUT IT DOWN!!!! ‘WHY?!’ I answer to my thoughts. I throw the shard of glass down onto my bed. I stare at my wall where my posters of My Chemical Romance and all my favorite rock bands were. I felt regret about ever smashing the mirror, and for my instinct to harm myself whenever things go bad, or to have a breakdown or everything just goes down. Sometimes I just get so negative about things that are happening and my walls come up. I just start to sink into the abyss of sadness that is part of my life. I need help. I think sadly. I pick up all the shards of glass, some scratching my hands. I go downstairs and throw them away. Now, there is nothing bad that can hurt me in this room. I think proudly. Then I notice the pair of small red scissors on my window sill, where I left them when I last used them. Shoot! I walk over to my window sill and grab them. The feeling of having something sharp in my hands was almost too much for me. Just do it. It’s so easy, just put it against your wrist and slice! I run out of my room silently and stop just outside my door. With a little clatter, the scissors fall from my fingers as I stare at the wall across from me. On the wall, was an old picture of me. I had short dark hair with bangs, I was wearing a purple top and blue jeans. I turn away from the old school picture and dash into my room, where I flop onto my bed and turn my music up loud to drown out the sounds of the world. I pick up my drawing book and flip through it. Wow. My drawings were so odd back then. One of my drawings had been a knife looking kind of weapon. I close my eyes and lie down and think. I’m ok, I’m Ok, I’M OK! I’m not really… I slam my fist down on my bed.  
“I’m Ok, I’m OK!” I say quietly. My life just seems to close in on itself. I pick up my drawing book and start sketching. I start to draw a teenager who has long, black hair with bangs that fall into her eye. She’s got big blue eyes and skinny but not sickly skinny. She’s got a small button nose and small but full lips. I start to sketch the thin little lines on her arm but stop, because it just reminds me of myself. I erase the little lines on her arm and leave them blank except some bracelets. I add red henna snaking up her arm and covering her hand in intricate designs. Then I add a little ear piercing on the top of her ear, and a little nose ring, and a lip ring. There. Wait... I erase the ear piercing. There. That’s better. I think proudly. Then I start on her clothes. I draw a Black Veil Brides shirt on her, and I draw a pair of very skinny black jeans. I label the drawing ‘Warped Tour Outfit’. I add a black tattoo choker. I flip the page and start sketching some tattoos. I start with one of my favorites. The word Dragonfly+Whiterabbit on my hand. My favorite artist has the same tattoo. When I’m done with the Dragonfly+Whiterabbit, I start on a heart with a dragonfly in the middle. Then I start to sketch something I didn’t want to. I wasn’t thinking at all when I drew this, but I was so into my art that I just did. I started to sketch a heart with the words Scout+Andy in it. But here’s the thing, Andy and Scout broke up in 2010, and now he’s married to singer Juliet Simms. I start to cross out the heart but stop because I want to keep the old relationship alive. Then I start to sketch Gerard Way from the old broken up band My Chemical Romance. I try to draw from memory, which is hard because I haven’t seen a picture of him in a while. I get his hair and shape right, but I can’t seem to get his eyes or mouth or nose right. Ugh…..I can’t do this I think, pushing my drawing things away from me. I pull my stuff towards me again and flip to a new page. I sketch cracks in the page. I close my book and look up. I see my sister standing in my doorway.  
“What?” I ask quietly.  
“Can we do something? Because you are always in your room.” She replies.  
“And that would be…?” I get up. “I’m not sure yet.” She backs up a step.  
“Ok?” I give her a confused look.  
“Just come with me.” She walks up to me and grabs my wrist. I yank my hand out of her grip.  
“I can follow you, OK?” She turns around and starts walking. I follow.  
“Where are we going?” I say to her back.  
“Well, we’re going somewhere.” She says.  
“Whatever.” I hope we’re getting something to eat, I’m starving. Maybe that’s because I never had anything for breakfast or lunch.  
“Wait the kitchen is that way.” I point to the right.  
“That’s not where we’re going.” Andiee turning around and looking at me, laughing.  
“Did you think we were gonna get food?” She asks laughing harder now.  
“Y-yea,” I say looking down.  
“Well, you can get something to eat. Meet me outside.” She says walking away.  
“K.” I head into the kitchen and open the cupboards, unaware of my mom sitting at the table behind me. “Whatcha guys doing?” She asks, and I whirl around.  
“Oh, it’s just you mom. You startled me.” I say smiling,  
“We’re not sure yet.”  
“Ok.” She says, looking at me.  
“Yes?” I ask turning around.  
“Oh, nothing.” She looks back at her computer. I open the cabinet and look inside. There’s nothing good to eat in here. I close the cabinet and open the fridge. And nothing good in here either…  
“Hey, mom? I think dad needs to go grocery shopping soon.”  
As I head outside, I don’t see my sister.  
“Hey Andiee?” I call out. No answer. Where could she have gone? I was inside for a few minutes and she disappears. I start heading out of the garage and out pops Andiee.  
“RAAAH!!!” She screams at me. I shriek and jump about a foot in the air. My heart is going a 60 miles a minute.  
“Jesus Christ!! (I love you),” I yell,  
“Why’d you do that?!?!” I put my hand to my heart, trying to slow it down. “I thought it would be funny if when you came out and didn’t see me, you’d come and look for me.” She starts laughing. Loud and rude.  
”Stop laughing! STOP!!!!” I explode, furious now.  
“IT WASN’T EVEN THAT FUNNY!!!” Andiee looks surprised and a little shocked. Her mouth just hangs open as she stares at me. I take a deep breath.  
“I’m going inside. Ok?”  
“B…b...bu…” She sputters.  
“I’ll see you later.” I turn on my heel and walk up the stairs to get inside.  
When I get inside, my mom turns around and looks at me.  
“Why in so early?” She asks inquiring.  
“Bored.” And with that, I go to the stairs, climb them, and head into my room. An ice cold feeling of hate squeezes my heart. I crash down onto my bed, upset with my sister, and with myself for being scared so freaking easily. Why can’t I be normal?? I get up and shut my door and lean against it. When did life get so complicated? I think offhandedly. I push off from the door and sit down. My stomach growls. I was still hungry. I yank myself up off my back. I put too much energy into pushing myself up and I stumble, nearly putting my head through my door. Holy crap…I have got to be more careful…. I open my door and head down the stairs. I enter the kitchen and see grocery bags on the counter.  
“Finally!” I rush over to the bags and start pawing around. I found a bag of Goldfish and rip it open.  
~A little while later~  
I flop down onto my bed and grab my sketchbook. I continue my drawing from before. My computer is next to me, playing some of my favorite My Chemical Romance songs, it makes a sound, cutting through my music like a knife. I reach over and pull my computer onto my lap. I see that I have a new Twitter message. It says ‘Never talk to me again, I don’t think we should be friends. Goodbye.’ I stare at the message, dumbfounded. The message was from @luke kemp. I and he don’t really speak to each other a lot, so what did it matter to me? I start to type back, ‘Why?’ He doesn’t respond at all throughout the day. I keep checking and re-checking it, but he doesn’t respond.

The next day, I try tweeting him. ‘@sagemgk Why didn’t you respond to my DM?’ Nothing. Not. One. Thing from him. Ugh, forget about it... I didn’t care about that.

~2 Years Later~

I look down at my arm and see clearly fresh red cuts. I don’t even remember doing that….How did this happen?? I look over at my nightstand and see the glass shard that I thought I’d thrown out two years ago. I pick the glass shard up and look at my tiny reflection. I put it down, and I grab my liquid eyeliner, and pencil liner and head to the bathroom. Today was the day I was gonna go to Warped Tour. I even had the outfit I had drawn 2 years ago. I line my waterline w/ black pencil liner. Thick, heavy lines, going just under my eyes. Then I take my liquid liner and draw one long line across my nose. I start at the right side of my head near my temple, and I draw a long line straight across, to my other side of my face. Then I draw one single line under the long line. I perfect them both. I find my black choker w/ a cross hanging from it. I grab my necklace w/ the sign for BVB hanging from it. Then I grab my black rosary. I straighten my Gerard Way Killjoy haircut and style it to look exactly like Gerard Way. I plan on seeing Black Veil Brides, Sleeping With Sirens, The Summer Set, SUM 41, and many others. I walk downstairs in my makeup and greet my sister.  
“Holy freak…..as if you couldn’t get any weirder, you come down in that.” She says, her eyes widening. My mom walks in,  
“What she likes, she can. As long, as you don’t do anything bad.” My mom says, fixing my shirt. I brush her hands away gently. “Thanks, mom. Ready?” My mom was taking me to Warped Tour, and I was meeting my friend Macki there. I was staying a few weeks, going to the places that Warped was going.  
~An hour later~  
I hop out of the car and wave goodbye to my mom. “See you in a few weeks.”  
She waves back, “When is Macki getting here?”  
I look around, and see her little ways away, holding two drinks, one a Monster, and the other a Coke. “She’s here.” I dash over to her.  
“Hey, Macki!” I hug her tightly. “Ready?” I ask Macki.  
“No. Why’d you drag me here anyways?” She asks, staring me down.  
“Because I actually don't know why I did… Sorry..” I say looking down.  
“It’s fine. I kinda wanted to go, bc I want to Juliet Simms.” She starts walking away, and I follow her. “Ah, so you do like something I like. Knew it.” “Whatever.” She laughs. She then looks back at me and noticed my makeup. “Holy mother of eyeliner! That is a lot of makeup for you.”  
“Yea, I know. And it's war-paint, not eyeliner. I mean I am wearing eyeliner, but most of its war-paint.”  
“Whatever..” “Come on!” I drag her over to the main stage, where Falling In Reverse is playing their song “Just Like You” I take my Monster and take a drink. She turns to me and screams loudly, “WHO ARE THEY!?”  
I jump a little when I hear her voice cutting through the loud riffs and singing. “THE BAND’S NAME IS FALLING IN REVERSE!” I scream back. “OH, OK!” She just stands there bored.  
“OH COME ON, MACKS! DANCE!” I grab her arms and twirl us around. She jerks out of my grasp, “STOP! I DON’T WANNA DANCE TO A BAND I DON’T EVEN LIKE, OR KNOW! AND MY NAME'S MACKI!"  
I jump back a little surprised. “I-i…” I walk off toward the East stage, where Juliet Simms was performing.

I end up walking to Black Veil Brides meet&greet booth. I look behind me to see if Macki was following me. She was.


End file.
